Kucinich to run again in 2012. Promises this time he ain’t “f-f-f-foolin!”

The Happy Couple

The Happy Couple

by jasondylan@wordpress.com

In what can only be viewed as a gutsy move by Dennis Kucinich, the congressman from Ohio has thrown his hat yet again into the ring for his fourth and what may be final bid for the presidency of the United States.

Kucinich in his sixth term from Ohio is dismayed by the lack of attention he has received from the press in his last three bids for the Presidency. The vegan and ‘peace loving’ Kucinich has decided that this time…things are going to be a little different.

I caught up with the congressman and his lovely wife Elizabeth at their home in Cleveland.

“I am really fed up with the lack of respect and attention that I have received from the press over the years,” Kucinich divulged from his living room. “This time is going to be different. He we are in Cleveland, the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I mean we all know that Cleveland rocks right? Well guess what man! I rock too!”

Needless to say I was a little taken aback by the usually mild mannered congressman, but he seemed to be sincere.

“I am going all out for this one,” Kucinich beamed. “Everything is going to be different. Don’t get me wrong, my stance on the issues will be the same, but I think it is time for people to see a part of me that I have chosen for various reasons to remain a secret until now.”

He really seems to have something up his sleeve this time around.

“When I made that speech at the last Democratic Convention,” he continued, “it was one of the greatest moments of my life man! I was so juiced! There I was on the stage pumping my fist in the air and exhorting… ‘Wake up America! Wake up America!’… and the crowd loved it! I was like..’Up with wages, up with peace!’ I mean, I brought them to their feet. I was on fire! I think I stole the show really.”

He then pronounced, “It is time for real change, man!” and excused himself for a few minutes. When he came back, his casual lounging attire was replaced with a head turning outfit of white spandex pants and a shirt that seemed to be worn by someone who had been wrestling with a large feline…topped off by a British Flag bandanna on his head!

“This is the new Dennis Kucinich,” he beamed. “Call me ‘The Kooch’.”

Then he took me into a room that was full of black light posters and what seemed to be memorabilia from the 1980’s, and said quietly, “Yes I am a vegan. Yes I am a man of peace but what most people don’t know is that I am a rocker through and through. Always have been, always will be,” as he strummed his ‘air guitar’.

He then walked over to the stereo and proceeded to “turn it up to 11”, as he called it, and Def Leppard’s “Foolin” came blasting from the sound system. “This is my new theme song!” he screamed. “This time I am not foolin’ man! It’s go time my friend!”

He was  really getting into it when his lovely wife Elizabeth walked in and smiled. She was wearing something that seemed stolen from Pat Benatar’s old collection and as the music ended she planted a big wet one on ‘The Kooch’, and we all sat down in our bean bag chairs for what was to be a very eye opening experience.

'The Peaceniks' now turned 'Rockers'

'The Peaceniks' now turned 'Rockers'

I asked them what all this was about.

Elizabeth, who is 31 to  Kucinich’s 62, and is not shy about admitting she has a tongue ring, rang in first. “I am British of course. And yes I did grow up in a quiet and cultured setting but I am a ‘rocker chick’ at heart. I think many Americans can really appreciate and understand what I am talking about.”

She continued, “We brought you The Beatles and The Stones and Americans have responded by adopting rock ‘n’ roll as their very own.”

‘Yeah man,” broke in ‘The Kooch’. “We have always been about love and peace and that is all well and good but to get things done you have to rock out a little…you know…turn it up to 11 man!”

He said, “Look, I am 62 now and you know….I am not getting any younger. So when I  hear Elizabeth blastin’ Def Leppard on the stereo or singing along to Pat Benetar or Stevie Nicks on her I-Pod, my blood starts to boil and it’s go time! I want to bring some of that into my campaign. People have responded to my ‘Peace and Love’ platform, but I think it is time to inject a little ‘Pyromania’ into the public debate.”

Elizabeth retorted, “There is this fire within us, whether you get in touch with it through exercise or like we do through Tantra or rockin’ out, we as humans need to feel that energy to be fully alive. Rockin’ out is not about drugs or engaging in reckless behavior, it is about being alive, being free.”

Elizabeth continued, “I think if people see that Dennis is not only one of our most thoughtful and intelligent politicians, but that he is also one of our most rockin’, then I think people will really pay attention. And it seems to be the only thing the media responds to these days. They want things to be theatrical, so we are going to put on a little show.”

“Elizabeth is right,” said Dennis. “If we as a culture spent more time rockin’ and less time in front of the T.V., being such downers all the time, then we could really see positive change for once. And just because I have a young and hot ‘rocker chick’ for a wife doesn’t mean that I am that special. We were all born to rock. I mean, we come out of the womb screaming this visceral scream as if we were auditioning for G n’ R (Guns and Roses) man! It comes naturally to all  of us.”

'The Kooch'

'The Kooch'

Needless to say I was a bit taken aback by this but at the same time I was getting a real charge out of it. The electricity was filling the room and the excitement was palpable….so was the smoke from all of the incense. The ‘Nag Chamba’ as they called it.

“So, where do you guys stand on the legalization of drugs?” I asked. “If I were to imagine a place where marijuana was being smoked, this would be it.”

“Of course,” Dennis answered, “we are all for the legalization of marijuana. Like Willie says, ‘We shouldn’t be putting people in jail because they like to smoke marijuana instead of drink alcohol.’ America is all about freedom, man! We can be sensible about it. It’s not that complicated. We all just need to chill out.”

I don’t know if it was from the smoke filling the room or from what I was hearing, but I started to get lightheaded and excused myself. Elizabeth met me in the corridor and as we walked towards whence I came, she assured me that “everything was cool” and that, “I shouldn’t worry about it”.

“This is his last chance.”, she assured me.”How else is he going to compete with Obama in 2012?”


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